i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
