thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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