He had one of those small greek statue penises
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
should my penis look like a turkey
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
