If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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