The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
