he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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