please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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