No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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