My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have post one night stand depression
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
