Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
