Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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