I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
