It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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