thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
