If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
