Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
