don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
