I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my being single is dangerous.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need a beard to bite.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
