Non-Jews are for practice
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
