I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
