Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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