I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
