i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
