Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
