Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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