He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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