Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
