Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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