Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
