we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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