it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
