I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
