If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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