Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
