Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
