Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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