Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's always time for handjobs
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
