I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
