I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
