if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
