i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
