Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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