You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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