that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
