if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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