So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
