Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
