My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
