You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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