is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
