dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
